


Defiance

by infinite_chaos



Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, Suicide, character focused, moderately AU, no jonah!!!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-03-03 16:34:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13345146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinite_chaos/pseuds/infinite_chaos
Summary: Can you outrun your parents?Starts when they are kids. Similar premise to the show, key differences being 1) Tina showed Nico the staff and taught her how to use it when she was a kid and 2) Jonah doesn't exist because I hate that guy. Nico/Karolina centric.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first time posting a fanfiction and I'm excited to see where this story goes! The first chapter is more of an introduction than anything, I will be posting chapter 2 very soon, then I will start staggering them more so that I have time to keep up.

_August 2011_

_Minoru residence_

Nico was 11 years old when her mother first showed her the staff. 

“Nico… I think you’re ready.” She led her into her office and sat her down in a chair next to the desk.

“Listen to me. What I’m about to show you is a great privilege and a great responsibility.” Tina’s words were deliberate, and there was an edge of excitement. She had been preparing this speech for years. “You can’t tell anyone that I showed you this, not even your dad. He doesn’t agree that you should see it, but you need to be trained to be prepared for whatever might happen.”

“Have you shown Amy?” Nico asked. Tina paused, choosing her next words carefully. 

“No. And you can’t tell her about it. I will show her someday. When she’s ready.”

Nico furrowed her brow.

“What are you showing me?” 

Tina smiled. She walked over to the glowing shadow box mounted on the wall and opened it, removing the staff. With a slight movement of her hand, the staff came to life. The ring at the top lit up and the bottom shot out four feet. Nico’s jaw dropped. 

Tina gripped the staff and closed her eyes, inhaling deeply as a gust of wind blew through her flowing hair. She looked younger in that moment. Freer. Nico looked up and where there had been ceiling, there was now a night sky full of stars. Tina opened her eyes and put a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. 

“This is called ‘The Staff of One’. It can do basically anything you can imagine.” Nico looked up in amazement. Her strict, stoic mother was smiling wider than she’d ever seen.

“How does it work?” 

“Magic.”

_Dean residence_

“How was your first day of middle school?” Leslie asked her daughter. Karolina frowned. She was sitting on the couch and she closed the book she was reading to talk to her mother.

“It was ok. My teachers are nice… Some kids teased me for being in a cult.” She said, gesturing to her bracelet. Leslie smiled, and stroked her hair. 

“Aww, sweetie. Don’t be sad. You’ll always have your friends from church and pride.”

“Yeah. I just didn’t like the way they were laughing at me. I almost cried in the middle of lunch.” Karolina inhaled sharply and closed her eyes. Leslie sat down next to her on the couch.

“Remember the scripture: ‘Light fills a dark room.’ Stay positive. When I’m upset, I remember that my happiness brings joy to other people. I’m a leader at the church; people look to me for spiritual guidance. So I always try to put on a brave face for others.” 

“Ok. I’ll try.” Karolina said. She forced a smile.

“That’s my girl.” Leslie said proudly. “Oh, and don’t forget, we’re going to the Wilder’s tonight. Pride meeting.” 

_Later that night_

_Wilder guesthouse ___

“Ok, so my parents ordered pizza, it’s on the way. I was thinking, play twister now, then when the pizza gets here, eat WHILE we play monopoly, then we can play video games for the last hour.” Strategized Alex. 

“Monopoly? A game named after an economic felony? No thanks.” Gert deadpanned. Alex rolled his eyes. 

“Gert has a point. I mean… kind of.” Said Chase. “The point being, if you think we’ll still be friends after I beat you guys at monopoly-” 

You beat us?” Nico laughed. “Oh please-” 

“Ok, we don’t have to play monopoly.” Amy interrupted, always the peacekeeper. “Let’s just start with twister then when the pizza gets here we can pick a game that everyone likes.” 

“Chutes and Ladders!” Molly suggested excitedly. 

“NO” Everyone else said immediately in unison. Molly shrugged. 

… 

A few hours later, Alex, Amy, Chase, and Gert were playing video games and Molly was dozing off on the couch. 

Nico and Karolina were on the ground behind the couch playing a mindless game of connect four (they both had already gotten five in a row but had yet to notice). They had been talking and laughing about random things for over an hour. 

“Middle school is weird.” Karolina said. Nico nodded. 

“Yeah! We have lockers and we have different teachers for every subject and school is SO BIG, I got lost like three times.” 

“All true. And. I don’t know.” Karolina wasn’t sure how to say it. She tried to keep it light and casual. Stay positive. “ I guess I don’t know how to make friends. I was really nice to everyone, but they didn’t like me anyways.” Nico tilted her head. She looked so confused. 

“What? Why not? That’s so weird!” Karolina fiddled around with her bracelet. Karolina leaned in really close and whispered, 

“They said they didn’t want to be friends with a gibb loser.” 

“You mean they didn’t like you because…” Nico gestured to Karolina’s bracelet. Karolina nodded. Nico shook her head. 

“That’s stupid. They’re stupid for judging you. Without even knowing you!” Karolina nodded. 

“Yeah, I shouldn’t be upset about it.” Karolina smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. 

“I’m upset about it! That’s messed up. Amy is an 8th grader, she can put them in their place.” Nico’s indignation made Karolina smile for real. Karolina looked back down at her bracelet. Nico followed her gaze. 

“Do you ever take it off? Like when you shower or whatever?” Nico asked. Karolina shook her head. 

“I’ve never taken it off. I’m not supposed to. I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t wearing it.” Nico’s eyes widened. 

“Never? How do you know… never mind, sorry.” 

“I don’t know.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“It’s ok… I don’t know.” 

They looked at each other for a moment. Nico lightly grabbed her wrist and brushed her thumb across the bracelet. Karolina’s breath hitched. Although it went against everything she’d been told her entire life, by her mother, her religion, her entire upbringing, in that moment she wanted Nico to take it off. Just to see what would happen. To see who she was without it. 

She of course didn’t. The moment passed and they went back to playing connect four until it was time to go home. 

_A few days later_

_Dean residence_

Amy talked to the mean kids at school and Karolina hadn’t had to deal with any more bullies since the first day. She was having a much easier time making friends. 

“Hi mom.” She said as she walked into her mom’s office. Leslie looked up from her work and smiled. 

“Hi, sweetie. What’s up?” Karolina sat down across from her. Her conversation with Nico from the other night was still on her mind, and she had a question. 

“I’m just curious, why do we have to wear our bracelets all the time? Even when we shower?” She asked lightly, trying to make it seem like this thought had just popped into her head. 

Leslie raised her eyebrows. Still smiling, she closed her binder. 

“Karolina. Our bracelets represent our commitment to the righteous path. If we ever take them off, that promise means nothing.” Karolina scrunched up her nose and paused for a moment. 

“Even when we shower?” Leslie was still smiling, but there was a worried crease on her forehead. 

“Sweetie… I love you. If you ever take off your bracelet, I won’t be able to protect you from what happens.” There was fear in her voice. Karolina’s eyes widened. She glanced down at her bracelet. 

“ I won’t take it off. I was just wondering. Don’t worry, mom.” Leslie visibly relaxed. She reached across the desk to squeeze Karolina’s shoulder. 

“You’re a good girl.” 

_6 months later, February 2012_

_Minoru residence_

Tina and Nico had been training twice a week since she first showed her the staff six months ago. Mondays and Wednesdays when Amy was at swim practice. Nico learned that the she is one of the three people in the entire world that the staff could work for, the other two being her mother and potentially her sister. After the initial introduction, Tina had been adamant that it works using some “very advanced technologies” developed at Wizard, but her explanation remained vague enough that Nico was still convinced it was magic. 

“Ok Nico, show me something.” Tina said sternly. They were training in the yard today as they were working on bigger spells and they didn’t want to trash their house. Nico took the staff from her and grasped it intensely. A needle pricked her thumb drawing blood, and it sprung to life. 

“There’s nothing like it.” Nico mumbled in awe. 

“Truly.” Her mother quietly agreed. Her face had the shadow of a smile. To a stranger, her collected demeanor might not seem excited or happy by any stretch, but Nico saw the way her eyes lit up when they trained. Nico took a look around, then closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 

“Whirlpool.” Nico declared as her eyes shot open. The water in the pool started swirling violently until it was splashing out onto the concrete. 

“Good, now make it stop.” Tina spoke-shouted, so that Nico could hear her over the thrashing water. 

“At peace.” Nico said firmly. The water settled as quickly as it began. So nearly instantaneous it seemed to defy the physical limitations of our world. Magic. 

“Very well done.” Said Tina. Nico grasped the staff in both hands and smiled. “You’ve gotten better at stopping a spell that’s in motion. That’s important and often overlooked. If a spell becomes too powerful for you to shut down, you aren’t in control anymore. Anything you start, you must be able to finish.” 

“Yes, I understand. I have been working on that.” Nico powered down the staff and they started walking back to Tina’s office to put it away. “So you can’t use any spell twice, right? Should I save some for later? What if I need to use one that I already used?” Nico asked. 

“The more spells you use, the easier it is to come up with new ones.” Tina explained. “It’s not a bad idea to have a few up your sleeve just in case, but there will always be more spells. Your greatest tool is your mind, so keep it strong, and you’ll be prepared for anything.” 

They were back at the office now. Nico opened the shadow box and carefully put the staff away. 

“Nicely done, Nico. It’s almost five-thirty, your dad and sister will be home soon. We will continue training next Monday.” 

“Ok. Thanks mom.” Tina paused. Nico had already started walking away when her mother said casually, 

“You’ve learned a lot in a short amount of time. I’m… proud of you.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of underage drinking. But not a lot because most of them are pretty young at this point, maybe I’m sensitive, but I didn’t want 14 year olds drinking excessively.

_September 2014_

_The Los Angeles Church of Gibborim_

The church was launching a new advertisement campaign focused on the Deans. It was the day of the photo shoot. Leslie and Karolina were almost done getting ready in a side room.

“So, this picture is gonna be on billboards and stuff?” Karolina nervously asked her mom.

“Yes, billboards, bus stops.” Answered Leslie. “We want people in need to see it and know they are welcome.”

“Why do I have to be on it?” Leslie sighed. 

“We’ve been over this, Karolina. You’re the young face of the church.” Karolina fiddled with her bracelet nervously. 

“It’s just that, everyone is gonna see it. And I already get teased enough just for wearing the bracelet.” Leslie looked at her daughter seriously. She took her hand and led her over to a bench to sit down.

“Sweetie,” She put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “I know this doesn’t seem like a good thing right now, but it is. Your face on this poster is going to help so many young people find a new home at the church. I need you to be brave for me. Find the light.” 

Karolina nodded.

“Alright?” Leslie said.

“Alright.” Karolina echoed. They walked out to the photographer. He was standing next to Frank Dean. 

“Are you ready?” Her dad asked. Leslie led Karolina in front of the camera. The three of them posed, Karolina in the middle with her parents on either side. The photographer adjusted his focus.

“Smile!” 

_Minoru residence_

It was the first time in weeks that all four Minoru’s were home for dinner. They were all sitting around the dining room table making tense conversation.

“So Amy, how is the team doing?” Robert asked. It was Amy’s first year as captain of the varsity softball team. 

“We’re doing well. Amanda is really struggling as a pitcher. I’ve been working with her to try and improve her form, but I’m worried she won’t be ready for regionals.”

“Why is she your pitcher? That role is too important for someone who isn’t prepared.” Tina commented.

“She has a good arm, she just doesn’t always hit the mark.” Amy defended Amanda. “And anyways, I believe in her, she’s a hard worker and she is getting better.”

Tina didn’t look convinced.

“What, mom? You don’t approve of my softball choices? Why do you even care?” Nico and Robert awkwardly picked at their food.

“If Amanda lost you your first regional, would you cut her? Pick a different pitcher? Step up and be the pitcher yourself?” Tina asked coolly. Amy looked down, avoiding eye contact.

“That would upset the team. They would think I was a jerk.”

“You’re the leader. It’s not your job to be liked, it’s your job to win.”

“Tina, she’s sixteen.” Robert hissed. “Amy. It’s ok to want people to like you.”

“You can’t please everyone in this world.” Tina snapped at Robert. “Doing things to please others will get you nowhere.” Nico looked at Amy and gave her an awkward, tight-lipped smile.

“Well. This has been fun.” Said Nico, standing up. “We should do this again sometime.” She put her dish in the sink and went to her room. 

…

Nico went to talk to Amy later that night.

“That was awkward.” Nico said, closing Amy’s door. Amy shrugged. 

“Yeah. She makes everything… So much harder than it has to be.” Said Amy, with a dry laugh. 

“I’m sorry.” Said Nico.

“It’s not your fault.” Amy said. She was fiddling with the hem of her quilt. “I feel like she’s not as hard on you though. Maybe because I’m the oldest.” Nico averted her gaze and furrowed her brow.

“I don’t know.” She said. “Who knows why she does what she does.” 

_The following night_

_Wilder guesthouse_

“So I was thinking-” Alex started, as usual, but Chase interrupted before he could finish.

“Actually, I was thinking,” Chase smirked. 

“An unexpected twist.” Gert jumped in to tease him. Chase rolled his eyes, and Gert laughed. “You set yourself up, friend.”

“I was thinking,” Chase pulled out a bottle of alcohol from his backpack. “We play a different game tonight.” Amy’s eyes widened. 

“You guys are fourteen, Molly is eleven.” Amy said, shaking her head. “If our mom finds out that I let Nico drink, she’ll kill me.” 

“It’s just wine! I couldn’t get the strong stuff… Unfortunately.” Chase said, mumbling the last bit. Then he said wistfully, “For all his shit, my dad has great taste in whiskey.” 

For some reason, Chase’s “reassurance” didn’t seem to comfort Amy at all. In fact, the statement seemed to distress her.

“Come on Amy, it’s one bottle of wine split between seven people.” Nico said. Everyone glanced around for a beat. Gert raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth to say something, but Nico altered her statement. “Six people. Sorry Molly, you really are too young.”

Gert nodded, making an “okay” symbol with her hand.

“Heard that one before.” Said Molly. She was clearly annoyed that she was being left out again.

“You can still play, Molly. You’ll just drink soda instead.” Karolina said, trying to make Molly feel better. 

“What game are we gonna play then?” Alex asked with a tight smile. He was annoyed that Chase had derailed his game night plans, but everyone (sans Amy) seemed to be on board, so he went along with it. 

“Spin the bottle?” Chase suggested.

He was answered with a chorus of “NO”, “definitely not”, “Nope, nope, nope”, “oh, uhhh”, “Jesus fucking Christ”, and “I’m eleven, man!” 

“I thought I would ask!” He laughed, holding his hands up in surrender. “But I figured it would go like that.”

“Never have I ever?” Suggested Alex. Everyone shrugged and nodded. 

“Amy? What do you say? Can we play?” Nico asked. Everyone looked to Amy for her final approval or veto. 

“I guess it really isn’t that much alcohol. And by the time our parents are done, we’ll all be completely sober again.” She paused. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Awesome!” Said Chase. He took out a corkscrew to open the wine. “Does anyone know how to use one of these?” 

…

It really wasn’t enough alcohol to get sufficiently buzzed, even for a bunch of fourteen year olds. But seeing as most of them had no idea how alcohol actually worked, after thirty minutes they were all acting as though they were drunk, giggling and over sharing. 

“Never have I ever punched someone in the face.” Said Karolina. She held up her fists like she was a boxer, and made a mock-serious expression. She made eye contact with Nico and they both burst into a fit of giggles. Chase and Alex both drank.

“You’ve punched someone in the face, Alex?” Amy asked, surprised. He looked a little embarrassed, but he nodded. 

“Yeah, last year there was this bully who wouldn’t leave me alone, and one day he pushed me and I dropped my backpack down the stairs. But my laptop was in there, so I turned around and punched him. I think I just got a little territorial.” 

“Is no one surprised that I have?” Chase asked, pretending to be offended.

“Chase, I’ve literally seen you punch someone in the face.” Karolina said. He raised one of his eyebrows trying to remember what she was referring to. “In seventh grade, Bodie wouldn’t leave Gert alone so you punched him.”

“Oh yeah, he was such a jerk.” Gert recalled. “Thanks for doing that by the way, it was nice. Like, I had the situation handled, but it was satisfying to see him get decked.”

“Anytime!” Chase said.

“Never have I ever… had alcohol before tonight.” Nico said. Chase, Amy, and Karolina drank. “Karolina, really?” Nico asked.

“Yeah, my dad has champagne at his actor parties and sometimes I sneak some. He doesn’t care, and the parties are really awkward.” She explained. “I hate them, honestly. Old men are always talking to me, calling me ‘honey’. It’s the worst.” 

“Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that you hated something before.” Alex observed.

“Oops, sorry.” She said, putting her hand over her mouth.

“Can you get out of going?” Gert asked. “Just say you have something else?” Karolina furrowed her brow.

“I don’t know. I’ve never thought of doing that. My parents want me to be there, so I’m there.” Everyone was quiet for a beat.

“Next time, you can come over to our place. Open invitation.” Said Amy. She always knew what to say. Nico nodded. Karolina’s face lit up.

“Never have I ever,” Alex said, continuing on with the game, “ lied to my parents.” Everyone drank.

“Hold up. You’ve NEVER lied to your parents? Are you serious?” Nico asked Alex, completely shocked.

“Nope. What, have you?” 

“Every day. Constantly.” She replied. Amy nodded.

“She’s not exaggerating. Our house is built on secrets.” Amy added, shrugging nonchalantly. Alex looked around.

“Has everyone else lied to their parents? Seriously?” 

“I don’t think I ever lied to my parents.” Molly said. “I’ve lied to Dale and Stacey plenty of times though.” 

“They’re just… so gullible.” Gert said to somehow justify it. 

“I’ll go next!” Said Molly. She had a mischievous look on her face. “Never have I ever had a crush on someone in this room.” Alex, Nico, Karolina, Chase, and Gert all reluctantly drank, keeping their eyes low and averting eye contact. Amy looked around amused. 

“Nice one, Molly.” Said Amy. 

“Ok, count of three we all say who we like.” Said Chase. “One, two-”

“No, I’m not doing that.” Karolina said.

“Yeah Chase, we don’t need to, I mean, it’s not… that’s not how the game works so…” Alex stuttered nervously.

“It doesn’t even mean we still like them, it was just if we ever liked someone in here at some point.” Said Nico. Alex and Karolina both looked over at Nico trying to figure out what that was supposed to mean. 

“So anyways!” Gert said. “Great game, I’m out of wine. We should play videogames. It is a tradition at pride meetings. No need to uh, keep talking about this.”

…

Everyone was playing videogames except Nico and Karolina. As usual. For a while, they watched the others play and gave a running commentary on the game: rating the outfits, discussing possible character motivations, trying and failing to guess who was winning. 

“Ohh wait, is Gert winning now?” Karolina asked. 

“NO.” Alex and Amy snapped. Gert glared at them. She was definitely not winning. 

“Jeez, I don’t like this side of you guys.” Said Nico. “Karolina, do you want to go get some tea?” 

“That sounds lovely.” She said. Alex looked up from the game for the first time since they’d started playing. 

“I can come if you want.” He offered. “This house is a maze.”

“No, it’s ok.” Said Nico. “You keep playing, I know where the kitchen is.” Alex looked a little disappointed, but he went right back to his game. Nico gestured for Karolina to follow her.

They made their way through the giant house towards the kitchen. There were only a few lights on, and strange shadows were cast on the walls from the furniture. It was completely silent. Karolina stayed close to Nico, lightly brushing against her arm as they walked. They both let out a relieved exhale when they arrived at the kitchen. Karolina gestured back to the hall from which they’d just come. She started talking right as Nico said exactly what she was thinking. 

“Kinda-”

“Creepy right?” They giggled. Karolina turned on a small light. It was still pretty dim. Nico climbed onto the counter to reach the tea in the cupboard.

“Do you need help reaching that?” Karolina asked playfully.

“I can do anything a taller person could do. Thanks.” Nico said. “Which tea do you want?” Karolina put water in the kettle and put it on the stove.

“Um, do they have rooibos?” Nico looked through the tea boxes, picking them out one at a time and reading them in the light. 

“Yes.” She said, finding the rooibos and throwing it down. Karolina caught it, flinching in surprise. Nico laughed lightly then threw down the sencha green tea. Karolina caught that one too, letting out a squeal. Nico sat down on the counter. Karolina reached up and pulled down two mugs from the top shelf of the cupboard.

“Wow, that was easy. I didn’t even need to climb on the counter.” Karolina said.

“I think you’ve reached your short joke quota for today.” Nico said flatly. Karolina laughed. 

“Just messing with you.” She said. Nico looked at her with a sly grin.

“So. Now that we’re away from everyone else… Who do you like in the group?” Nico asked. Karolina’s eyes widened. In the span of ten seconds, she went through a face journey of: shock, panic, casual denial, existential dread, and more panic.

“Ok never mind!” Nico backtracked. “You don’t need to say. It’s ok. Is it Chase? No, it’s ok. Don’t say.” Karolina exhaled a huge sigh of relief.

“No, it’s not- I don’t… I would tell you! I just. I can’t do it right now.” Karolina said.

“It’s ok.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok!” Nico put her hand on Karolina’s shoulder for reassurance. 

“I used to have a crush on Alex.” Nico confessed. The kettle on the stove whistled loudly as the water started boiling. Karolina quickly went and turned off the stove, bringing the kettle over to pour their tea.

“Alex? Oh ok. Hmm that’s interesting.” Karolina said as she poured. 

“Like y’know when we were younger. I don’t really like him like that anymore.” Nico elaborated. Karolina nodded casually and forced a smile. They were quiet for a minute as they let their tea steep, both fiddling with the tea strings. Nico pulled the mug up to her nose and took a breath, feeling the steam on her face.

“My mom drinks tea all the time.” She said quietly. Karolina leaned against the counter next to where Nico was sitting, listening intently. In this position, Nico’s face was just a couple inches higher than Karolina’s. 

“I also like drinking tea,” Nico continued, “Sometimes I feel guilty for doing things that my mom does.” Karolina looked at her carefully.

“Why?” She asked. Nico paused for a moment in thought. Her face slowly contorted into a pained expression. Karolina lightly put her hand on Nico’s in comfort.

“She’s difficult. And…” Nico looked into Karolina’s receptive eyes and bit her lip. She gave the room a cursory glance to make sure they were really alone. Then she curled her fingers around Karolina’s comforting hand and continued,

“She showed me something.” She whispered. “I can’t tell you what it is. But she showed me and not Amy. And I’m not allowed to tell her about it.” 

Karolina nodded, listening closely.

“She’s harder on Amy. I don’t understand why.” Nico said, shaking her head. “But whatever her reasons are, Amy suffers for it. And I… I feel responsible.”

“Nico...” Karolina tightened her grip on her hand. Nico closed her eyes and a tear slipped down her cheek. Karolina gently wiped it away with her thumb, holding her face with her hand. 

“Karolina?” Leslie Dean picked the most inopportune time possible to enter the room. Karolina jolted around like she’d been caught committing a crime rather than comforting a friend. 

“Mom!” Nico ducked behind Karolina as she wiped her eyes. 

“Hi sweetie. Hi Nico.” Leslie said. Nico peeked out from behind Karolina.

“Hi Mrs. Dean.” She said. Leslie looked at them curiously.

“What are you girls doing in here?” Leslie asked. She was smiling, but there was an edge to her question that made Karolina tense up. Leslie glanced at their hands, still gripped together on Nico’s knee. Karolina let go immediately. Nico looked down at her now empty hand then up at Leslie and gave her a tight, nervous smile.

“Just… chatting.” Karolina said, trying and failing to sound casual. Nico glanced at her and raised an eyebrow.

“We just came in to make some tea.” Nico said smoothly, holding up her mug to take a sip. Leslie paused for a moment, looking between the girls.

“I see.” Leslie said. “Well, our meeting is almost done, we’re in the study tying up loose ends. Why don’t you girls go join your friends back in the guesthouse? We’ll come and get you when we’re ready.” 

…

Fifteen minutes after they returned to the guesthouse, the parents came to get everyone. Everyone engaged in the obligatory small talk. Nico quietly pulled Karolina aside for a minute in the commotion.

“So. The stuff I told you tonight, about my family…” Nico started. “That stays between you and me, ok?” Karolina nodded.

“Of course.” She said. Nico nodded. She stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around Karolina’s shoulders.

“Thank you.” She whispered. “For being here for me.” Karolina wrapped her arms around Nico’s waist securely. 

“Always.”

…

After they had said all their goodbyes, Leslie and Karolina walked out to their car to go home. Once they were securely in the car with their doors closed, Leslie turned the key and put the car in drive. 

“So listen, Karolina.” She started. Karolina looked out the window, watching the fancy houses come and pass. Leslie spoke smoothly and gently. “We discuss a lot of confidential things at Pride meetings. There’s a lot of money involved. We would prefer it if all you kids stayed in the guesthouse. It’s not a big deal this time, but going forward…”

“Oh, ok. I’m sorry, won’t happen again.” Karolina said. Her shoulders relaxed.

“Also… I couldn’t help but notice,” Leslie continued. Karolina was still turned towards the window, but her eyes stopped following the houses. She froze, listening to her mom carefully. “You and Nico have gotten pretty close.”

Karolina was suddenly hyperaware of the confined space she was in with her mother, and the fact that she was stuck until they got home. It felt like Leslie was driving much too slow. 

“We’re all close, we’ve been friends basically since we were born.” She said and let out a breathy laugh.

“It felt like I might have walked in on something earlier.” Leslie said. Karolina’s face hardened.

“No.” She dismissed. “But now I’m curious, what are you guys talking about at these meetings that your kids can’t even be in the same house?”

Leslie laughed lightly and tightened her grip on the steering wheel.

“I suppose, sometimes not knowing is what protects us.” Leslie said. Her voice was light, but her words were the classic mix of preachy and menacing that Karolina knew all too well. They drove for a few minutes in silence. Leslie spoke again, right as they pulled into the driveway,

“When I think about how much you’ve grown, it makes me so proud. You’re such a good daughter.” Karolina exhaled some of the tension she’d been holding and smiled. Leslie smiled back and stroked her daughter’s hair.

 

_Later that night_

_Minoru residence_

The Minoru family had just gotten home from the Wilder’s, but before Nico could go to her room, her mother stopped her.

“Nico? Come talk to me in my office for a moment.” Tina said, her expression calculated and unreadable. Nico squinted at her mother and followed her down the hall into her office. Tina closed the door behind them.

“Leslie told me that she saw you and Karolina in the main house during our meeting.” Tina said coolly. Nico raised her eyebrows and nodded slowly. “I believe we’ve made it very clear that you’re supposed to stay in the guesthouse.”

“Yeah… but we’re fourteen now, isn’t that old enough to get tea? It’s not like we disturbed your meeting.” Nico said. Tina took a couple deliberate steps towards Nico, looking down on her. With her heels, Tina was at least five inches taller than her daughter.

“This isn’t a discussion.” She said, her voice even. “You will stay in the guesthouse because I say you will. That’s all you need to know about it.” Nico stared her square in the eyes, seemingly unaffected by her mother’s imposing presence.

“Why?” Nico challenged. “Why are there so many secrets? Why am I supposed to just accept things that I don’t understand? Because you say so? I don’t accept that.” 

Tina looked at her daughter for a moment. At first, she seemed vexed. But then, to Nico’s surprise, she smiled.

“You remind me of myself when I was your age. So strong willed. Determined.” Tina turned around and walked to stand in front of the staff of one. “That’s why I showed you the staff.” 

Nico furrowed her brow and looked down at the floor. Tina turned back towards Nico.

“Someday, you’ll understand everything. But for now… you’re going to have to trust me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Feedback appreciated :) I'm on tumblr @ infinite-chaos
> 
> I will post the next chapter next week!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Amy dies in this chapter and Nico finds her similarly to in the show.

_September 2015_

_Minoru residence_

It was 7:30 in the morning; Nico had just gotten out of the shower. If they didn’t leave for school in the next 15 minutes, they would be late. Nico heard Amy’s alarm still beeping from down the hall. 

“Amy! Wake up! You overslept. We have to leave soon.” She walked into her sister’s room to see Amy still in bed. There was a bottle of pills on the nightstand. 

“Amy?” She tapped her on the shoulders. She was too still. “Mom!” Nico screamed. She tapped her again. 

Tina and Robert rushed in and froze, eyes wide. Robert went to Amy and checked her pulse with shaky hands. Tina frantically examined the pill bottle. Then they looked at each other. An unspoken understanding passed between their eyes. 

“Mom, do something! Dad?” Nico looked at her parents desperately. She couldn’t understand why they weren’t doing anything. 

“Wizey, call 911!” Nico screamed. 

“No, Nico. Wizey, don’t make that call.” Tina said. Her eyes were still frantic, but her voice was firm and unwavering.

“Why aren’t you doing anything? We can’t just stand here!” Nico begged. 

“Nico, you shouldn’t be here. Go…” Robert’s voice was shaky as he spoke. “Get a lyft to school.” 

“Are you insane? I’m not going to- we have to do something!” She ran to Tina’s office and retrieved the staff. 

“Move out of the way!” She stood at the edge of Amy’s bed, her hands shaking, and activated the staff. 

“No, Nico.” Tina said sternly. “Give me the staff. It… it won’t work for this.” Nico held the staff with both hands.

“Bring her back. Bring her back. Bring her back!” She pleaded, tears running down her face. But nothing happened. Tina grabbed the staff.

“Freeze.” Tina said. Her voice broke. Nico couldn’t move. She could see her parents talking, but she couldn’t hear what they were saying. Time seemed to slow down as she watched the scene play out in front of her.

Robert looked mortified. He was hysterical, yelling at Tina, pacing, crying. He gestured to Nico and to the staff. He looked at Amy and covered his face with his hands.

Tina wasn’t listening to Robert at all. She brushed her fingers across Amy’s face, and then took out her phone to make a call. All the while gripping the staff so tightly her knuckles were white.

 

_Dean residence_

Karolina, if you want a ride to school, you need to be ready to go in the next five minutes!” Leslie called from the bottom of the stairs. 

“Ok, hold on! I’m almost ready!” Karolina called down to her mom. 

Four and a half minutes later, Karolina was running down the stairs. 

But her mother was on the phone facing the opposite wall with her hand to her forehead. Karolina furrowed her brow and walked towards her mom cautiously. 

“Mom? Who’s on the phone?” Leslie held up her hand without turning around to signal Karolina to be quiet.

“I can come over now.” Leslie said. “I don’t… I don’t know if I can do anything. But I can come.” Her voice sounded unsteady and afraid. Karolina walked next to her mother and put a hand on her arm.

“What’s going on?” She whispered. Leslie gripped Karolina’s shoulder and they locked eyes. She had a worried crease on her forehead and tears were welling up in her eyes. She looked absolutely distraught.

“I’m on my way over.” She said, hanging up the phone. She pulled Karolina into a tight embrace and kissed the side of her head. “Sweetie, you need to get a lyft to school. Something urgent has come up.” 

“What’s going on, mom?” Karolina asked again, shaking her head with concern.

“I… I don’t know. I need to go. Now. I’ll see you after school.” Leslie squeezed Karolina’s arm and was out the door. 

 

_Minoru residence_

Nico woke up in her room. Violent memories rushed into her head: her dad in hysterics; her mom freezing her with the staff; Amy lying there, so pale and so still. 

She got up and walked down the hall. The door to Amy’s room was closed. She could hear voices coming from the living room. She crept further down the hall, and peeked around the corner. Leslie Dean was in her living room talking to her parents. Nico strained her ears, but couldn’t make out what they were saying.

She snuck back to her room and closed the door. Then she took out her phone and scrolled through her contacts to Karolina’s number. She closed her eyes and paused for a moment, exhaling a shaky breath, before hitting call. She answered after one ring.

“Nico? Are you ok? You’re not at school.” Karolina said. She sounded worried. 

“Your mom is at my house.” Nico said. 

“She is?” Karolina asked urgently. Nico could hear rustling, probably as Karolina found a private enough place to continue the conversation. “She got a call this morning, she was upset. She said she had to go right away.” Karolina paused,

“Did… did something… bad happen?” She asked carefully. Nico was quiet for a long moment. She closed her eyes.

“Yeah.” Nico said. Her voice wavered.

“Nico…” Karolina said her name with so much love and concern that it pushed Nico over the edge. Nico squeezed her eyes shut to stop the tears. She shook her head.

“Why would she call your mom? Instead of-” Nico was interrupted by a soft knock on her bedroom door. 

“I gotta go, I’ll call you back later.” Nico said abruptly.

“Wait-” Nico hung up the phone. 

“Nico?” She heard her dad’s voice through the door. He gently turned the knob and peeked inside. Nico was sitting on her bed; she glanced at him and looked back down at the floor. Robert walked in cautiously and closed the door. He sat down across from her, at her desk. 

They sat like that for a few minutes, in grief-ridden, insurmountable silence. Finally, Nico couldn’t take it anymore.

“Are you gonna say something?” She asked, weakly. 

“I wanted to… make sure you were ok. But that sounds pretty stupid, considering the circumstances.” Robert said. Nico nodded.

“It sure does.” She said. There was no venom in her words. Not for lack of bitterness, she really just couldn’t muster the ferocity.

“So…” Nico was afraid to ask, but she needed to. “She’s gone?” She looked at her dad with pleading eyes, hoping that somehow she was wrong. That somehow this was all a dream and she would wake up and Amy would be ok. Robert’s eyes were despondent. He stared back at her then diverted his gaze.

“She’s gone.” 

Nico nodded slowly. They sat in silence for a good five minutes. 

“Did she leave a note?” She asked finally. Robert looked up at her cautiously.

“We haven’t found one.” He shook his head. Nico furrowed her brow and pursed her lips. She stood up, determined, and walked to Amy’s room. 

Amy wasn’t in there anymore. They must have already moved her. Her sheets were ruffled like she had just gotten out of bed. Nico checked her desk first, checking papers, looking under books. She opened her laptop and turned it on. Then she went over to her bed and gently felt around. She checked the nightstand and the floor.

“What are you doing in here, Nico?” It was her mom. She was standing in the doorway, holding the glowing staff. The light from the staff illuminated half of her face. Nico held her hands up cautiously, but she looked her square in the eye, her expression daring and resolute. 

“She would’ve left a note.” She said evenly. Tina didn’t take another step into the room, but she adjusted her hand on the staff and narrowed her eyes.

“I looked everywhere. She didn’t.” Tina said. “You can’t be in here.” Nico was about to argue, but Amy’s computer turned on. ‘Setting Up Your Wizard Computer’ was on the screen. Nico walked over to Amy’s computer slowly.

“Her computer was wiped.” 

_Atlas Academy_

Karolina stepped into her dad’s white Cadillac. He was picking her up from school, which was a little unusual. Usually it was her mom or a lyft.

“I thought mom was getting me today.” She said. “Don’t you have a photo shoot?” He smiled and patted her shoulder.

“It finished early.” He said. “Something came up and your mom asked me to get you.”

“Dad,” Karolina turned her body towards Frank, her expression was serious. “What’s going on?” She asked desperately. Frank looked uncomfortable. He was never good at talking about hard things. 

“How about we get some ice cream? I… I gotta talk to you about something.” Said Frank. Karolina sighed. 

“Alright.” She really did not feel like getting ice cream. But she knew this was hard for her dad, and she didn’t want to make it harder.

…

They walked into the ice cream place and immediately saw Gert and Molly, not far away were Stacey and Dale. Dale saw them first. He looked surprised.

“Hey, guys! Getting some soft serve?” He greeted them. Gert and Molly eyeballed him suspiciously. Frank looked at the other parents intensely, raising an eyebrow and glancing at Gert and Molly. Stacey shook her head. Frank nodded.

“Ok! How about you kids get your ice cream and find us a table.” Frank said, ruffling Karolina’s hair. She smiled a tight smile and went to the counter with Gert and Molly.

“Do you guys know what’s going on?” Whispered Karolina. She grabbed a cup and started dispensing her ice cream. Molly and Gert followed suit.

“No.” Molly said. “But spontaneous soft serve? Nothing good.” Gert shook her head in agreement. They looked over at their parents, who appeared to be talking about something serious.

“Do you know anything?” Gert asked. Karolina furrowed her brow. “Have you talked to Nico? Her and Amy weren’t at school today.” Karolina shook her head, overwhelmed at the question. 

“Um, I don’t know. She called me, but she hung up before she told me what happened. She sounded really upset though.” She didn’t go into more detail, mostly because she didn’t have any context for her conversation with Nico or what she witnessed with her mom that morning. 

“Guess we’ll find out soon.” Said Molly. She grabbed a plastic spoon and stuck it in her soft serve dramatically. 

…

Ten minutes later, they were all sitting in a booth, Dale, Stacey, and Frank on one side and their kids on the other. 

“So listen,” Frank started. “We… we have some…” He glanced at the other two adults for help.

“We have some really bad new. Unfortunately.” Dale said softly. The kids all leaned in expectantly, but no one spoke.

“Um, what’s up?” Gert asked, lamely. Stacey glanced at the two men. They were both looking down at their ice cream with heavy eyes. She looked at the kids sadly and took a deep breath.

“Amy Minoru killed herself last night.” 

Karolina felt her heart drop into her stomach. She sunk into the booth and held her head in her hands. 

“Oh my god.” She said. Gert closed her eyes and inhaled sharply. Molly grabbed Gert’s hand firmly.

“What happened?” Asked Gert, her eyes still closed. 

“It looks like she overdosed on prescription pills. Nico found her this morning.” Dale said. Stacey nudged him and shook her head. Karolina’s eyes widened.

“Nico…” She whispered painfully. Gert put a comforting hand on her arm. 

“I’m sorry.” Said Stacey. “I know you were all really close.” Her eyes were sympathetic and full of concern. 

“Yeah. We were.” Said Gert slowly. Molly was still holding Gert’s hand. Stacey reached across the table and put her hand softly on theirs. 

Karolina glanced at her dad sitting across from her. He was tapping his fingers nervously on the table. He caught her stare and gave her a tight smile. She moved her gaze down, not really looking at anything. Her eyes deadened. She tightened her jaw and pushed her ice cream away a few inches. 

“Can we go home now?” She quietly asked her dad without making eye contact. 

…

Frank and Karolina drove home in silence. When they pulled into the driveway, he parked and turned towards his daughter.

“I’m really sorry about your friend.” He said. She could tell he meant it, but she didn’t know what to say or how to respond.

“And,” He continued. “I’m sorry I made you get ice cream, and you ended up hearing about it from the Yorkeses.” She looked up at him, listening closely. He paused and then continued,

“I do a pretty good job seeming like I belong here. Most days, I forget that I don’t.” He said. He smiled and looked out the window; his eyes held sadness. She watched his face carefully as he spoke. 

“But sometimes, something happens and I just don’t know how to be a person.” 

Karolina looked out the window, mirroring her dad. She still didn’t say anything, but after a moment she nodded once in understanding. 

 

_Minoru residence_

Nico turned to her mom, a look of angry determination on her face.

“Did you wipe her computer?” She asked her mother. Tina was staring at the computer, her brows furrowed. She shook her head.

“No.” Tina said firmly. She deactivated the staff and walked over to the desk. She carefully set down the staff and reached towards the laptop. Nico put her hand firmly on the side of the keyboard.

“What are you doing?” Nico asked pointedly. They were both barefoot, so Tina was only about an inch taller. To Nico’s surprise, Tina didn’t try to take the computer. She started typing.

“I’m trying to figure out what’s going on.” She mumbled. She was typing long strings of code. Nico didn’t know what any of it meant. 

“Damn it.” Tina said. The bottom string of code read ‘no memory’. “Whoever wiped this knew what they were doing.” Nico’s hand was still firmly in place on the side of the laptop. Tina glanced at her daughter. She gently grabbed the sides of the computer.

“I might be able to get something from the hard drive, but I’ll need to take it apart.” Nico narrowed her eyes suspiciously. She kept her hand firmly in place. 

“Do you think Amy wiped it?” Nico asked. She watched her mom closely. Tina’s face twitched in anger.

“I don’t know, Nico. That’s what I’m trying to figure out.” She responded defensively. She closed the computer and took it forcefully, then turned and walked towards the door. Nico grabbed the staff from off the desk and activated it in one swift motion. 

“Slam!” The door shut harshly. Tina turned to her incredulously. 

“You don’t get to use the staff on me.” She said. There was a cool rage behind her words. If Nico was fazed, she didn’t show it. 

“You used it on me.” She countered. For a split second, Tina’s face showed a hint of remorse. 

“Did you wipe her computer?” Nico asked again. Tina tightened her grip on the laptop, and Nico tightened her grip on the staff. They stared each other down. 

“Did she leave a note on there?” Tears welled up in Nico’s eyes. “Blaming you for all your shit! Did you wipe her computer so no one else would see?” She was on thin ice, wildly accusing her mom, but she was too angry to care. 

“How dare you!” Tina said furiously. The staff flew across the room into Tina’s hand. 

Nico took a step back in fear. Tina exhaled and looked down. She closed her eyes and the door gently opened. The light from the staff flickered off.

Nico wiped the tears from her face quietly and avoided making eye contact. Tina looked at Nico for a long moment. She opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. Her eyes were distant as she turned around and walked out of the room. 

Nico sunk to the floor and leaned against Amy’s bed. Never in her life had she felt so powerless. Tilting her head up, she saw paper snowflakes hanging from the ceiling. She exhaled heavily and finally let herself cry. 

Amy saw the world a little brighter than she did. She said that snowflakes, although small, are each one unique and extraordinary. When combined together, they can make an avalanche. 

_Dean residence_

Karolina walked up to her room and closed the door softly behind her. Before she could do anything, her phone started vibrating. Chase was calling her. Her forehead creased with concern.

“Chase?” She answered. 

“Hey, um have you talked to your parents?” He didn’t sound like himself. His voice was more subdued than she’d ever heard, devoid of his usual playfulness. She sat down at her desk, tapping her fingers anxiously on the wood.

“Yeah. I heard.” She said solemnly. “You ok?”

“Yeah, I guess. Just… shit, you know?” He said in disbelief. “Are you ok?” 

“Yeah.” She said. “I think? I don’t know. I don’t really… I’m having trouble wrapping my head around it.” 

“Me too.” He said. He sounded close to tears. “Have you talked to anyone else? I tried calling Gert, but she didn’t answer.” 

“Well, Molly, Gert, and I were together when we found out… Our parents thought ice cream would make it easier.” Karolina shook her head bitterly. 

“My mom told me when I got home from school today.” Chase said. “Some ice cream would have been nice.” Karolina chuckled dryly. A beep interrupted the call.

“Oh, Gert is calling back. Let me add her to the call.” He said. A moment later Gert’s voice came through the line.

“Hey. It’s me. Molly’s here too.” Her voice was low. She sounded tired. “How are you guys holding up?” 

“I can’t believe it.” Said Chase. “We just saw her yesterday. How could…” He trailed off. 

“I know.” Gert said. “I tried calling Alex, but it went straight to voicemail.” 

“I hope he’s alright.” Said Chase. It was unusual for him to show any care for Alex, or his wellbeing. They were close like brothers, but always at odds over something.

“Nico must be… I don’t even know what I would say to her right now.” Gert said. “Have you…. Karolina, have you heard from her since earlier?” Karolina closed her eyes. 

“No.” She said, her voice stiff. There was a beat of silence. 

“Are you ok, Karolina?” Molly asked. Karolina looked up and took a deep breath. She clenched her jaw and closed her eyes again. 

“I don’t really know how I’m supposed to feel about all this.” She responded quietly. 

“I had no idea she was so unhappy.” Said Gert, her voice shaky. “I wish that I knew. I wish I could’ve done something.”

Karolina grabbed the picture off her desk of her and the group. It was the seven of them, all together: laughing, smiling. She remembered the day it was taken, Molly’s birthday last year. They all met up at the park and played a bunch of games. Amy (a varsity athlete) let Molly (a girl who just turned eleven) beat her at touch football. In the photo, Molly was smiling the biggest, happiest smile, and Amy was next to her, covered in mud, smiling just as wide.

 

_Minoru residence_

Nico wasn’t sure how long she stayed on the floor in Amy’s room. Eventually her dad came in to get her for dinner. She followed him wordlessly into the dining room. Her mom was seated at her usual seat at the table. Leslie was there, standing behind Amy’s chair.

“Hi, Nico.” Leslie said with gentle, solemn eyes. Nico didn’t say anything. She sat down for dinner awkwardly. She regretted leaving the peace of Amy’s room. The food looked weird. Her face must have done something because Leslie jumped to explain,

“It’s vegan. It’s what I know how to make.” She said, apologetically. Nico didn’t say anything. There was a pause. “Do you like quinoa?” She asked delicately. Nico looked up at her and narrowed her eyes.

“What are you doing here?” She asked. Tina looked at her in resigned disbelief. Leslie didn’t appear offended.

“I’m just here for support. And to help out.” Leslie said with a kind smile. “You know, me and your mom have been friends since we were kids.” Nico glanced at her mom. There was a beat of silence. 

“Um, thanks for the quinoa.” Nico said. It came off sounding a lot snarkier than she had intended.

Leslie looked at the three of them, and at the empty chair that she definitely wasn’t going to sit in. She looked over to Tina.

“Well, I should probably go. See how my daughter is doing.” Leslie said. She turned around and picked up a duffel bag from the corner of the room. Nico eyeballed it suspiciously.

“What’s in the bag?” Nico asked. Tina looked at her coldly.

“You’re full of questions today, aren’t you?” She said. Nico stared back angrily, about to say something, but Leslie put her hand on Tina’s shoulder and responded to Nico’s question.

“Some things for the church.” She said smoothly. “Your mom called me when I was on my way there, and I came straight here.” Nico stared at the duffel bag and crossed her arms. 

“Thank you for coming, Leslie.” Tina said, standing up. “I’ll walk you out.” The two women walked out. Leslie rubbed Robert’s shoulder in comfort as she passed behind him to go. Nico watched them leave, arms crossed and brow furrowed.

Tina came back in a few minutes later. They sat in silence. Robert and Tina picking at their quinoa apathetically. Nico refusing to touch her food at all or even look at her parents.

“So… I can order pizza if you guys want…” Robert finally said, looking carefully between Nico and Tina. 

“I’m not really hungry. I think I’ll just go to my room.” Nico mumbled. 

_Dean residence_

A few hours had passed. Karolina was lying on her bed, on her back, staring blankly at the ceiling. She heard a knock on her door, and sat up.

“Yeah?” She called. Her mom opened the door softly.

“Hey, you.” Leslie said, walking into her room. She sat next to Karolina on the bed. Karolina wrapped her arms around her mom’s waist and rested her head on her shoulder. Leslie returned the embrace, rubbing her back in comfort.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here. You doing ok?” Leslie asked gently. Karolina pulled away and shook her head.

“I don’t get it. Amy was always so… positive. I can’t believe she would do this. It just doesn’t make sense.” She showed her mom the picture from the park for emphasis. Leslie delicately took the picture. Her fingers gently traced the kids’ smiling faces. 

“I know.” She said finally. “She must have… had darkness inside that she couldn’t overcome.” She turned to her daughter intensely and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Listen. We’ll never really understand what happened,” Leslie explained. “Why she did what she did. All we can do is make peace with the uncertainty and accept that it’s done. There’s no changing what’s past.” Karolina gasped sharply and looked down, nodding.

“How?” She asked desperately, looking back up at her mom. “How do you make peace?” There was turmoil in Leslie’s eyes as she tried to form her response.

“Amy’s…” Leslie swallowed and diverted her eyes. “Amy’s light has been released back into the universe.” Her voice was stiff. Karolina wondered if her mother even believed her own words, but listened intently just the same. 

Leslie took a deep breath and tears welled up in her eyes.

“For us to indulge our sadness and confusion,” Leslie continued slowly, painfully. Her words were stilted, tears threatening to fall any moment. “Would be selfish, when there are people who need our support.”

This wasn’t Leslie’s best speech by any measure. Logic wasn’t really applicable and it didn’t really answer the question that was asked in any way. But this was the first time Karolina had seen her mom express so much sadness, and it was deeply affecting.

“Mom?” She asked cautiously. Leslie wiped her eyes and forced a smile, shaking her head quickly.

“I’m sorry.” Leslie said softly. “What I mean is. Wherever Amy is… she’s free. She isn’t suffering or hurting. And what we need to do now is focus on the people who are here.” 

 

_Minoru residence_

Nico was back in her room, not doing much of anything. She was currently using a sharpie to color an entire page from her math notebook black. She heard a soft knock on her door.

“What?” She snapped. Her dad gently opened the door. 

“I brought you some pizza.” 

“I said I wasn’t hungry.” She responded without looking up. 

“You haven’t eaten all day.” He insisted.

“I don’t want it.” 

Robert walked across the room and placed the pizza on the side of her desk. One slice of simple cheese on a paper plate. And a glass of water. 

“In case you change your mind.” He said. Instead of acknowledging the pizza or Robert’s words, Nico gripped the sharpie more forcefully and made loud, dark lines on the page. Robert stood next to her quietly, hands in his pockets.

“I love you, kiddo.” He finally said. He turned and left her room, softly closing the door behind him. Nico furrowed her brow and tightly pressed her lips together. She glanced over at the pizza and water.

Eventually she grabbed the cup and took a small sip of water. She pulled the pizza closer, but didn’t take a bite yet. Instead, she grabbed her phone and selected a number from her recent contacts. She answered after the first ring. Again.

“Nico?” Karolina’s kind voice came through the phone. Nico softened at the sound. 

“Hey.” Nico said. She wasn’t sure where to start. Karolina also seemed hesitant to speak.

“Um,” Karolina started, but Nico cut her off.

“So, you said you were there when your mom got the call this morning. Were you at home?”

“Oh, um, yeah. She was about to take me to school, but then she had to go. I had to get a lyft.” Karolina explained, clearly a little surprised at the direction of the conversation. Nico was honestly a little surprised too.

“Does your mom have a… church duffel bag?” Nico asked. 

“Um… I don’t know. I’ve never… seen one.” She didn’t sound offended, just really confused. “Nico, did you call to ask me about a duffel bags?” 

Nico paused. Her lips scrunched to the side nervously.

“I guess I called because,” Her voice was soft. “I needed to talk to a friend. I had a… really shitty day.” 

“I know. I’m really sorry.” Karolina said, her tone full of remorse. Nico bit her lip. After a beat of uneasy silence, Karolina spoke again.

“I’m really… glad to hear from you. How about, you tell me about your shitty day. And tomorrow, we can look into that… church duffel bag.” She suggested. Nico nodded and exhaled.

“Ok… but we are getting back to that.” Nico said adamantly. Karolina actually laughed. Nico laughed too, before she remembered not to. She finally took a bite from her pizza. 

“Of course.” Karolina said. Nico paused for a long moment. 

“Amy died.” Nico forced the words out, driven by a need to confront her new reality. She heard Karolina exhale heavily.

“I can’t imagine ever feeling… okay again.” Nico continued. “Without her here, my house feels so cold.” Karolina didn’t speak. Nico assumed she didn’t know what to say, and she forgave her for that. 

“And there’s another thing. My mom… did something to me this morning.” Nico shuddered as she remembered being frozen in Amy’s room. Unable to move, even to close her eyes. “It was terrifying. It was the first time I’ve ever been scared of her.”

“What did she do?” Karolina asked. She sounded as scared as Nico. Nico scrunched her lips to the side.

“It’s really hard to explain.” She said. “Then we got in a big fight, me and my mom. And I said some things that I probably shouldn’t have.” Nico shook her head. 

“What was the fight about?” Karolina asked softly. 

“The fight was about Amy’s computer. I don’t know, Karolina, nothing is making sense about any of this.” Nico jumped into a full rant, speaking fast. “She wouldn’t let me call 911 this morning. She called your mom instead, like. Immediately. Isn’t that strange? And Amy didn’t leave a note, and her computer was wiped. Then your mom had this duffel bag. And she lied about it, she said that she was on her way to church when my mom called her, but you said she was at home, and-”

“Nico!” Karolina cut her off. “It- it sounds weird, ok? But I just… I don’t know. My mom said that we’re not going to understand everything, and we need to make peace with not knowing.”

“That’s just what adults say!” Nico countered. “Are you really fine not trying to figure this out? Because I’m not.” 

“I…” Karolina started, but paused for a moment. “We’ll try. See if we can sort this out together. Tomorrow. But… we might not find anything. And even if we do, it won’t change… what happened.” Nico tightened her jaw.

“Do you think I don’t know that?” She said coldly. 

“I’m sorry.” Karolina said. Her voice wavered. Nico could tell she was close to tears. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. You’re just trying to help.” Nico said. “I’ve been picking a lot of fights today.” Karolina sniffled.

“I’m sorry I’m crying.” She said, her voice cracked. “This isn’t supposed to be about me.” Nico squeezed her eyes shut as tears of her own threatened to fall. 

“No. You can cry. It’s ok. We all lost someone today.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was hard to write, mostly because it was a major bummer. But really important to the story. It started getting really long, so I split it into two. Chapter 4 will continue where this one left off. Let me know what you guys think!


	4. Chapter 4

_Minoru residence_

The next morning, Nico chose to go back to school. Her dad insisted that she didn’t have to, and while school seemed daunting, the prospect of staying home with her parents, whom she wasn’t talking to and who weren’t talking to each other, was so much less appealing that the choice was easy.

She just had to get dressed first.

She had gone through about half of her wardrobe, and she hated it all. She had a drawer from her dresser open and she was on her knees pulling out item after item in an effort to find something to wear, but everything was too bright. Too composed.

In a burst of frustration, she jerked the drawer out of the dresser and dropped it on the floor with a loud slam.

“Nico, are you ready?” Robert asked, peeking in her room. He took in the scene: Nico on the floor, surrounded by piles of clothes, a dresser drawer in front of her on the floor. His eyes widened with concern. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay ho-”

“No.” She snapped. “Just get out of my room. I’ll be ready in a bit.” Robert put up his hands nervously. 

“Ok...” He turned and closed the door. Nico shoved the drawer in front of her away and squeezed her eyes shut.

After digging through her clothes for another twenty minutes, eventually she settled on a dark crimson sweater, black jeans, and black boots. She looked in the mirror. 

“I guess that’ll do.” She mumbled. She looked closer at her face. Her eyes were puffy and swollen, surely from the lack of sleep and intermittent crying. She sighed and opened her makeup box.

It took her at least thirty minutes to do her makeup. She applied concealer, a heavy layer of foundation, black smoky eyeliner, and a dark crimson lipstick. She ruffled her hair with her fingers. She paused and looked herself over, nodding slightly.

“Ok.” She whispered to her reflection. 

_Atlas Academy_

She was about twenty minutes late to school. She walked through the empty halls to her first period class, trigonometry. When she arrived, she took a deep breath outside the door and adjusted her backpack on her shoulder. She steeled herself and entered. The class was still working on the warm up problem that was on the board. As she walked down the aisle to her desk, she felt eyes on her. She sensed her classmates watching her and whispering as she passed.

Chase sat, or rather stood, right next to her in this class. She saw he was already there, hunched over their desk working on something. She dropped her books on the desk to alert him of her presence. He looked up at her immediately and stood up taller.

“Nico! I wasn’t expecting you to be back today.” He had to do a double take at her alternative wardrobe.

“No rest for the wicked.” She joked dryly. His eyes widened. She almost laughed at the intensity of his panicked confusion. “My parents wouldn’t let me stay home.” 

She wasn’t sure why she lied. 

“Ah, yeah. My parents are the same way.” He said nodding. His shoulders relaxed. He looked at her for a moment then smiled sadly. She was relieved that he wasn’t trying to talk about it. He clearly wasn’t sure how to broach the subject, but there was an eager kindness in his presence that was comforting.

“Can I copy your practice problem?” She asked. He pushed his notebook over to her side of the desk.

“Go for it.” 

…

“If you’re wondering what it’s like in space, it’s empty. Quiet. Cold.” 

Karolina’s astronomy class was usually a bright spot in her day. She found space wondrous and beautiful. Her teacher, Mr. Rodriguez, was quirky and enthusiastic. Today was perhaps the exception.

“We’re very lucky to be bound to this earth because if we were floating through space, we would be, well, one: dead.” Her teacher laughed and clicked to the next slide in his PowerPoint. It read ‘Space exposure’.

She flinched at the morbid joke. When she was younger, she always imagined death as joining the stars. When she pictured it as a child, it was comforting, but now it was more disturbing than anything.

“And ignoring the inevitable, painful end, if we were floating through space, we would have to travel for trillions of miles to get anywhere worth going.” He said, clicking to a slide titled ‘Exoplanets’. 

“A trillion miles?” He continued. “Yeah, you think getting around LA is hard…” He chuckled at his own joke. The class groaned inaudibly.

“Life is delicate.” He gestured to the Exoplanet slide. “If we ever hope to find extra terrestrial life, we have to know where to look.” 

Her teacher went on about aliens for a while, but Karolina couldn’t follow. 

…

Nico’s second period class was AP European history, which is about as fun as it sounds. She shared it with Gert and Alex because they are nerds who hate themselves. When she arrived, she didn’t see either of them. She went to her desk and started getting her books out. She looked up at the board and realized they had an essay due.

“Shit.” She mumbled. She internally debated if she cared enough to ask for an extension. 

“Hey.” 

Nico heard a familiar voice. She looked up and saw Gert standing next to her. Gert looked her up and down for a moment then wrapped her arms around Nico in a warm hug. Nico tensed up. Strangely enough, this was the first physical contact she’d had with anyone since Amy died. You’d think someone would have given her a hug by now. She gripped Gert back firmly and closed her eyes.

They didn’t pull back from the embrace for a long moment. When they did, they both were fighting back tears. Nico steeled herself, determined not to cry in front of the other students. She glanced around the room, catching the eyes of a few kids who were watching her, but she didn’t see who she was looking for.

“Is Alex here?” She asked. Gert furrowed her brow.

“No. He wasn’t in chem today.” She said. “I haven’t heard from him at all. I tried calling yesterday, but he wouldn’t answer.” Nico nodded slowly. Gert continued,

“He’s probably… taking it pretty hard. She was his best friend.” Nico stared at Gert intensely. Gert’s eyes widened as she tried to read Nico’s expression.

“I wonder if she talked to him before she…” Nico said. She knitted her brows together slowly as she contemplated this possibility. 

“I… don’t know.” Gert said. Before either girl could say anything else on the subject, the bell rang for class to begin. 

“I’ll talk to you after class.” Gert said. She quickly rubbed Nico’s shoulder one more time and walked back to her own desk.

…

Karolina’s second period was Spanish two. Chase was in her class too, standing across the room at his desk. She was having trouble focusing on the lesson, and from the looks of it, Chase wasn’t paying attention either. His book wasn’t even open. 

“Alright. Now find groups and practice past participles until almuerzo.” Their teacher used to address the class in Spanish, but soon found this group to be a lost cause.

Karolina walked over to Chase. He looked up from his tablet and forced a smile.

“Hey.” She said, and reached out to pull him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around her back tightly. 

“Did you see Nico in first period?” She asked when she pulled away. He nodded.

“Yeah, she seemed… I don’t know. She can be hard to read.” 

Karolina didn’t think Nico was especially hard to read. Then again, Nico was probably more open with her than with Chase. She wanted to probe further, but she took a closer look at Chase and thought better. His eyes were downcast, darting around nervously and his shoulders were tense. She sighed and put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Are you ok?” She asked gently. He clenched his jaw and looked at the desk.

“I wish we could have some freaking chairs.” He forcefully slammed his hand down on the desk. A couple heads turned their way, surprised by the noise. 

“Hey.” Karolina stepped closer to preserve their privacy. “What’s going on?” He shook his head and leaned against the desk. She leaned too, facing him.

“Everything,” He started quietly, “just feels really wrong.” She nodded in understanding. He paused.

“I thought she would always be there.” He said finally. Karolina looked down. The hardest part was the suddenness. It came out of nowhere. Amy was here and then she wasn’t.

“I know what you mean.” She said. He shook his head. 

“Last year, I went to a senior party with some guys from lacrosse.” He recalled, speaking softly. “I drank too much. Way too fast. It started getting really dodgy. The guy I came with left with some girl. I couldn’t call my parents. Y’know, I was fourteen, scared, alone. I didn’t know what to do.” He took a deep breath and continued,

“So I called Amy. She came and picked me up. Took me to a 24 hour donut shop and got me an egg sandwich. She sat with me for two hours as I sobered up. Told me I was too young to be drinking, but promised that I could always call her, day or night, and she would be there.”

Karolina nodded and faced forward, bumping shoulders with Chase and looking down at the desk. 

“She looked out for all of us.” Karolina mumbled. “Do you think she’s… do you think she’s still out there somewhere? Floating through space?” She asked softly. She probably wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t Chase. Anyone else would probably have rolled their eyes, laughed, or pitied her naiveté. But she knew Chase would take it seriously.

“I want that to be true.” He said. “I’m not sure what I think… What do you think?” She brushed her fingers across the silver metal of her bracelet delicately.

“In Gibborim, death is described as a release from our physical form: a reunion with the powers of the universe. Our time on earth is… but a resting stop in a longer journey.” She recited then paused. “I’m not really sure what that means though.” Chase nodded slowly.

“Well, I’m not religious.” He started gently. “My parents never took me to church or temple or anything like that. They’re physicists first and foremost. But, from a physics angle, the first law of thermodynamics states that no energy is ever created. Or lost.” They looked at each other, both suddenly close to tears. Chase cleared his throat.

“So yeah, ‘reunion with the powers of the universe’, I think that checks out.” He finished, wiping his eyes. Karolina looked down and wiped at her own face with her sleeve. 

The bell rang signaling it was time to go to lunch. 

“Adios, gringos.” Their teacher said. “Do the review questions for chapter three by Wednesday.”

Karolina and Chase walked together over to the table that they usually sat at for lunch to meet the others. Moments after they arrived, they saw Nico and Gert walking across the quad to meet them. 

“Oh, yeah. Nico has a new look today.” Chase said under his breath before the others were in earshot. Karolina’s eyes widened.

“Yeah.” She replied, her voice breathy and distant. She could see that. 

Nico’s expression was forcefully blank. Her gait was steady, and she gripped her backpack tightly. To some, she might have looked angry, but Karolina read it as guarded. She quickly closed the distance between them with a few big strides.

“Hey.” Karolina said. Nico looked at her best friend for a moment before wrapping her arms around her waist tightly, resting her head on her shoulder. Karolina returned the embrace, clutching Nico’s shoulders and pressing her face into her hair. She felt Nico’s fingers tighten on her back, gripping her shirt.

Chase, who had been standing a few feet behind, walked next to them. He and Gert exchanged a sad smile. 

“How you doing?” Gert asked Chase quietly. He shrugged.

“You know.” He responded vaguely, and gestured to her with his hand. “You?” 

“Yeah.” She responded, equally as vague. 

Nico pulled away from the embrace. Karolina looked around and furrowed her brow.

“Where’s Alex?” She asked. 

“He’s not here.” Nico said. There was an edge to her response. It almost sounded like she was accusing him of something. 

“Chase!” They were interrupted by three bulky lacrosse jocks approaching fast and looking at Chase expectantly. 

“Hey guys.” Chase said, turning towards them. The tall one in the middle clasped his hand and gave him a manly pat on the back.

“Hey, bro. You coming?” The jock on the left asked, gesturing towards the gym. “It’s Friday.” 

The jocks had a thing worked out on Fridays where they Venmo one of campus patrols to order them pizza. It was a weekly, invite-only pizza party for certain athletes and the dance squad. 

Gert looked at Chase expectantly. Nico rolled her eyes. 

“Uhh.” Chase said, obviously uncomfortable. His eyes darted between the boys in front of him and his friends.

“If you wanna go to your pizza party, no one’s stopping you.” Gert said bitterly. 

“See? It’s no big deal, they don’t care.” Said the jock in the middle with a smirk. Chase’s eyes widened. He glanced back at his friends. Nico really did look like she could care less. Gert had her hands in her pockets and was stubbornly looking at something off in the distance. 

But Karolina stared at him pointedly, slightly shaking her head.

“Next time, guys.” Chase finally answered. The jock in the middle’s expression faltered. He changed gears, his face becoming sympathetic.

“I’m sorry about your friend.” He said, only addressing Chase. “The softball team is having a vigil later tonight. We wanna go to show support.”

Nico tensed up. Karolina grabbed her hand.

“Text me the information. I’ll be there.” Chase said, nodding solemnly. “Thanks, guys.”

“Sure thing, man. We got your back.” The one in the middle said. The other two jocks nodded and the three of them walked away, but not before each giving Chase another manly pat on the back. Once they were out of earshot, Gert turned to Chase and crossed her arms indignantly.

“You were seriously considering going to their elitist pizza party.” She shook her head. “Today of all days. Seriously, Chase?”

“You basically told me to go!” He countered. “Now your mad? I’m literally still standing here.” 

“The fact that you even thought about it. The day after Amy died.” Gert said. Karolina squeezed Nico’s hand. “And now you’re going to their vigil?”

“Of course I am! Aren’t you?” Chase said. Gert looked at him incredulously.

“I don’t think I was invited.” She said flatly. “And it’s clearly an-”

“This conversation is pointless!” Nico hissed. The fight stopped dead in its tracks. Everyone turned to look at Nico. She recoiled at the sudden undivided attention.

“Whatever,” Nico said defensively. “Karolina and I are going to the library, she’s helping me with my… biology homework. Keep fighting if you want to.” 

Gert and Chase both looked like kicked puppies.

“You’re leaving?” Gert asked. “I’m sorry we were arguing, we’ll stop. You don’t have to go.” 

“We’ll be good.” Said Chase. Nico sighed. 

“I really need to do my homework before fourth period. No hard feelings, just homework. I promise.” She offered a small smile. Karolina watched her carefully. 

She looked over to Chase and Gert and gave them an apologetic smile.

“See you guys soon.” She said gently as Nico yanked her towards the library.

…

“We don’t have any homework.” Karolina said as Nico pulled her into the back corner of the library to sit at an empty desk that was somewhat isolated from other students.

“Not for class.” Nico amended. Realization flashed across Karolina’s face, soon followed by apprehension.

“You’re still on about the duffel bag.” She said. Nico paused and looked into her eyes intensely.

“Are you with me?” She asked. The question was daring. But beneath the challenge was fear. Something in her eyes pleaded, _please don’t make me do this alone._

“Yes.” How could she say no?

“Good.” Nico pulled out a notebook. “We have three things we need to look into.” 

She opened the notebook and pointed to a detailed outline of the past twenty-four hours and what to do next. Karolina’s eyes widened. 

“Woah.” She mumbled. 

“Ok,” Nico nudged her friend’s elbow to get her to focus. “Number one, Amy’s laptop. My mom took it. We sneak into her office while she’s out and see if we can find it.” Karolina gulped and nodded.

“Number two, duffel bag. What’s in it?” Nico continued. “Where do you think it could be?” 

“Um.” Karolina fiddled with her bracelet nervously. “I’ve never seen it at home, so it’s probably at church.” 

Nico placed her hand on busy fingers and cool metal bracelet. Karolina stilled and met Nico’s intense gaze. 

“Then we’ll check in the church.” She said resolutely. Karolina nodded once.

“Ok. We’ll check.” She said softly. They looked at each other for another moment. Nico glanced down at their hands. She furrowed her brow at her friend’s silver shackle.

“You’ve still never taken it off.” Nico said. It was a statement, not a question. Karolina let out a rigid sigh. 

“You know I can’t.” She responded. Nico pursed her lips and looked down for a moment, her eyes uneasy. She slid her hand down Karolina’s wrist and gently gripped her hand.

“I know that you haven’t.” She clarified carefully. “I know that it’s like… forbidden or whatever… And I know that it’s your damn wrist and you can take it off if you want to.” 

Karolina averted her eyes and laughed uncomfortably, shaking her head.

“We’re a little off topic, don’t cha think?” She said, her voice tense. She gestured to the notebook in front of them.

“It came up organically.” Nico deadpanned with a playful smile. Karolina exhaled a breathy laugh and Nico was relieved to see some of the tension leave her body.

“You know, I’m not sure if it did, actually.” Karolina teased, scrunching her nose. “It actually seems like you just brought it up out of nowhere.” 

Nico rolled her eyes and bumped Karolina’s shoulder playfully. 

“Whatever. I’m sorry.” Nico brushed her thumb over Karolina’s gently. “I just… don’t get it. Sorry.” 

Karolina nodded and paused. She tilted her head to the side trying to form her words.

“It’s really important to my mom.” She finally said quietly. “If I took it off it would be like… letting her down or something. I feel like. I don’t know. I feel like when I do stuff for the church, she’s proud of me. And I want to be the daughter…” She trailed off. 

Although they were best friends, Nico had never heard Karolina talk this candidly about her mother, the church, or the pressures associated.

“Karolina…” She said softly. Karolina forced a smile and shook her head quickly.

“Anyways, I didn’t really mean it like that, just like. Can we get back to the, uh, investigation now. Please.” She tried so hard to sound casual but failed spectacularly. 

Nico studied her face for a second and decided to drop it. Instead, she leaned over quickly and pressed a kiss to the other girl’s cheek. Karolina’s face lit up. First with surprise, then poorly contained excitement. Nico grinned at the red lipstick on her friend’s face.

“Ok, back to,” Nico started, still grinning. She looked down at the notebook in front of them and her face fell immediately. She took a deep inhale. “Back to work.” 

Karolina turned serious too, remembering why they were there in the first place.

“So what’s the third thing? I only see the first two on here.” Karolina said. Nico clicked her pen.

“Alex.” She wrote his name on the page. Karolina raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Why? What about him?” She asked. She noticed that Nico was trembling slightly and she tightened her grip on her hand.

“What about him? He’s totally AWOL. He knows something.” Karolina was taken by the ferocity with which Nico spoke.

“I guess we could talk to him.” She said, her voice a little uneasy. Nico tightened her jaw. The resentment was palpable. Karolina felt a responsibility to defend Alex. 

“They were really close.” She said carefully. “Maybe he just needs some time to… process.” 

The gentle words hung in the air for a moment. Nico’s face remained rigid with angry determination, and Karolina was afraid that she had said something wrong.

“I didn’t even know that she was unhappy.” Nico finally said. Her voice cracked on the last word. Tears welled up in her eyes, and the anger, still very present on her face, now looked more like sorrow. She let go of Karolina’s hand and looked away, wiping at her eyes aggressively with her palms. 

“She didn’t seem unhappy.” Karolina finally said. Nico was still turned away, her shoulders tensed at the words. 

The moment was interrupted by the sound of giggles. Nico snapped her head up at the noise. Two girls had unwittingly wandered into the room. They spotted Nico, eyeliner smudged from wiping her tears, and the laughter died immediately. They turned somber.

“Sorry.” One of the girls said after an awkward beat. They turned and hastily exited the room. Although their timing was unfortunate, they seemed truly sympathetic. 

“I can’t fucking be here anymore.” Nico stood up sharply. She closed her notebook and shoved it into her backpack. Karolina rushed to get up.

“What do you mean?” She asked, panic involuntarily edging into her voice.

Nico paused and turned to examine Karolina. Her face softened just slightly upon seeing the worry in her eyes. Her lipstick was still on her cheek. She stepped forward and gently reached up to rub it off with her thumb. 

“I mean I’m leaving.” She turned to leave, grabbing her backpack and swinging it over her shoulder, but she felt a hand on her forearm. She turned back towards Karolina and was met with… more resolve than she was expecting.

“Where are we going?”

 

_Minoru residence_

“My parents should be gone, they had a meeting on the calendar for 1:00 pm.” Nico said as they walked up the driveway. She gestured to Karolina to wait as she peeked into the window of the garage. 

“Would they keep their meeting?” Karolina asked. Nico nodded and reached into her bag for her keys.

“They like to keep busy.” She unlocked the front door. Wizey’s voice greeted them when they walked in.

“NICO IS HOME EARLY FROM SCHOOL. WITH APPROVED GUEST.” 

Karolina jumped. Even after all these years, she never quite adjusted to being monitored by a house.

“Yes, I’m not feeling well.” Nico told Wizey casually. “Is anyone else home?” 

“NO. PRIMARY USERS LEFT AT 11:00 AM. AMY LEFT YESTERDAY AT 12:23 PM AND HAS NOT RETURNED.” 

Nico inhaled sharply and closed her eyes. Karolina looked at her carefully. A beat of silence passed.

“That’s an unfortunate glitch.” Nico finally said dryly. “Wizey… Amy won’t be back. Don’t mention her again.” 

“OK. WILL ADJUST FUTURE COMMUNICATIONS ACCORDINGLY.” 

Karolina looked down. Although she didn’t say anything, her expression gave away her uneasiness.

“If it said something like that to my parents, it would really upset them.” Nico explained, feigning indifference. “Anyways, no one’s home, let’s see about this computer.”

Nico led them through the house to Tina’s office. It was never an especially warm house. It was always too clean to feel lived in, and the décor was all varying shades of gray. Not to mention the computer watching your every move. 

“I’ve never been in your mom’s office before.” Karolina noted as they walked into the room. 

Nico’s eyes scanned the familiar space, taking in the objects on display. Pictures and awards on the wall. An antique tea set sitting on a shelf. The staff, looming over them in its shadow box. She caught her reflection in the full-length mirror next to the desk and quickly looked away.

“It’s weird being in here without her.” Nico finally responded. She started rummaging through filing cabinets. Karolina stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, trying not to disturb a space where she most definitely was not supposed to be.

“What do you hope to find on this laptop?” Karolina asked. “Didn’t you say it was wiped?” 

“At first I thought my mom wiped it. But now… I don’t know. I think it might have been Amy. But I don’t understand why she would do that.” Nico moved to look in the desk drawers. “If my mom was able to get anything from the hard drive, I want to know what she found.” 

“What’s that?” 

Nico followed Karolina’s gaze to the staff. Strangely, it was glowing. Nico narrowed her eyes at the mystical item. 

“Stop that.” She said to the staff, her tone dead serious. Karolina raised an eyebrow. The staff flickered off.

“Your house is so weird.” Karolina mumbled. Nico opened another drawer and froze. 

“What is it? Did you find the laptop?” Karolina asked. Nico lifted an elaborately decorated notebook out of the drawer. 

“It’s Amy’s diary.” 

For a moment, they just looked at each other, both unsure what to do next. Nico’s hands trembled as she delicately held the journal. Karolina softly crossed the distance of the room to stand next to Nico.

“Do you think...” Nico started. She shook her head with frustration, overwhelmed with the choice in front of her. “Is it ethical? To read this.”

“I can’t say. I don’t know.” Karolina stood beside her with her arms crossed tightly in front of her.

“I don’t think I could not read it given the circumstances.” Nico mumbled. “But it’s a diary. It’s private.” 

“You don’t have to decide now.” Karolina suggested gently. She jumped when her phone started vibrating. “It’s my mom, hold on.”

There was a subtle shift in Karolina’s demeanor. She stood up a little straighter and her face stiffened just slightly.

“Hey, mom.” Her brows furrowed as she listened. “Yeah, I missed third and fourth… Nico couldn’t stay so I left early with her.”

There was a long pause as Karolina listened to her mother speak. Nico glanced at her friend, noting her strained anxiety.

“I know. I’m sorry. I won’t… I’ll be home soon.” Karolina’s face relaxed a bit. “I love you too, mom.” 

She hung up the phone and let out a breath of relief.

“Is she mad that we skipped school?” Nico asked. 

“No. She’s not mad.” Karolina dismissed quickly. 

“Really.” Nico said skeptically. “Well. I’d hate to see her when she’s angry.” 

“She’s not mad, she’s just…”

“Disappointed?” 

“Displeased… but I’d better get going.” Karolina said, looking at her friend apologetically. Nico stared back intensely for a moment, then sighed.

“Alright. I’ll be fine.” She said. 

“I’m sorry.” Karolina glanced at the diary and worried her brow. She placed a hand on Nico’s arm. “You can call me. If you read it. I don’t want to leave you like this.”

Karolina’s voice was dripping with worry and desperation. Nico shrugged and gently pulled her arm away. She held the diary with both hands.

“I should probably do this part alone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me forever to write. I got really swamped with school, and this part of the story is taking longer to tell than I had expected. Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Any feedback, good or bad or in between is greatly appreciated!!


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